16. Silver Lining in the Clouds of Our Storms

Back to the knee injury again. I know I'm writing so much about this event, but it is one event that changed my life forever. Many people grow gradually, but some have one specific event that defines them. It becomes them. This event is the crowning moment of my life. Personally, it was so hard to go through what I went through. It changed the future for me in a way that I could have never foreseen. This one moment was the appropriate activation energy that I needed to push me forward and fix my life. 

I remember once being told that there is something good hidden in even the worst events. For quite the time I didn't see how this could be true. My life was ruined wasn't it? No one could see the blessing in this trial of mine. One day I was going through my physical therapy routines while listening to Elder Holland speaking when I heard him say this:

“Even if you cannot always see that silver lining on your clouds, God can, for He is the very source of the light you seek. He does love you, and He knows your fears. He hears your prayers. He is your Heavenly Father, and surely He matches with His own the tears His children shed.” 

 This really hit home to me. I realized that everything was part of God's plan. He let this happen to me so that I could fully put my trust in Him, knowing that whatever happened, it would be for the best. But then I thought about my mission, which my injury would delay for about 7 months. Why would He want that to happen? Doesn't He need me out there in the mission field? I knew I was ready to go! I was ready to go a whole year before that point. Then I realized that maybe I needed to be even better. Maybe I needed even more knowledge than I already had. 

At this point I realized that I would be allowed to go to a semester and a half of college at BYU before I would go on my mission. This would give me even more time to prepare, learn, and grow as much as I could. I began to push my recovery for my knee. Slowly, I became more independent. I started working out, doing P90X. At first, this took quite the toll on my knee, but I recovered quickly and I pushed forward. I wouldn't give up for anything. 

Now I'm at the point of almost finishing the fall semester at BYU. I have come so far and have changed so much. Most of my recovery has been away from home, which I personally have found very fun. When I visited home a little while ago, my mother could barely recognize my personality because I had changed so much. She told me that she was proud of what I have become, of who I have become. These were the words that I have always wanted to hear from my mother. 

This was the silver lining on my clouds. Sure it took a long time to realize it, but what I had thought was the worst experience of my life, had truly been the best thing of my life. I no longer have to look in a mirror and be ashamed of what I see, but rather I can look and see what my mother sees. She is proud of me, and that is all that matters to me. I have become what she has always wanted me to become, all because of what I had been angry at God for casting upon me. Now, I can always find the silver lining on the clouds of every storm that comes my way.